Minecraft Monster School
by Daebak Fai
Summary: What happens when Herobrine runs a school for mobs? Minecraft Monster School equals CHAOS, LAUGHS, AND INSANITY! Follow the students as they take various lessons all taught by Herobrine (that's Mr. Herobrine to you) READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Minecraft Monster School**

**Alright, I'm officially insane. I have TWO fanfics that I am in the incomplete process of rewriting out of chat format, AND YET I decide to write another fanfic. The logical side of my brain is in the midst of being assassinated by my creative side as I write this. I can't help it. Just writing a new story is so totally awesome! Well, I hope you guys enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. I want a Torture Squid Zone though.**

**=Chapter 1=**

Zing hopped into Minecraft Monster School, dragging his trunk of belongings. The sometimes hyper slime was a boarder, planning to stay at the school. In fact, all the students were boarders. After abandoning the trunk in his room(and wondering who would be his room mate), he set off to explore the school before everyone else got there. He had only travelled 5 blocks when he crashed into someone.

"Oops! Sorry! " He squeaked. The man loomed over him at two blocks high. He wore a green shirt and long blue jeans. He looked almost normal until he stared at Zing menacingly with his pale white eyes. Zing gulped. _I'm toast. This is definitely one of the teachers and he's going to kill me_, he thought. Then the man grinned and walked off, tossing a book at Zing, who immediately picked it up and read the title. "**A Guide To Minecraft Monster School. By Mr. Herobrine**." _Mr. Herobrine must be that guy I crashed into_, he realized. With that, Zing continued his exploration of the school.

By the time Zing got back to the room, he had found 5 shortcuts to the classrooms, 2 secret passageways to the cafeteria, lost the guidebook, found the guidebook, nearly dropped the guidebook into the lava fountain, and almost burned the school down with the flint and steel he had picked up. Phew. That was exhausting. As he pushed the door open, he saw a few suitcases on the other bed.

"Hello? Who are you?" Zing called out. Finally, a tall, black figure with deep, violet eyes popped up in front of him, two blocks taller. _Am I the shortest student or what_, he mused. "I'm Zing! You're my roommate right? What's your name?" He asked, jumping up and down in excitement.

"Ender. Nice to meet you." The mob answered in a guttural tone.

"Cool! Hey, you want me to show you around? I crashed into Mr. Herobrine who's a teacher and he gave me this guidebook to the school! Come on! Can you teleport? Let's go!" Zing chirped, dragging Ender out of the room.

"You're hyper, huh? Alright, I'll teleport to the cafeteria, it's the only place I've gone so far and you can give me a tour." Ender replied, hoping that Zing wouldn't somehow kill them.

Zomboni slammed the door to his room and walked out. A new school, where he wouldn't have to hide his cleverness. Yes, he did have a brain. A long time ago, his ancestor Frankenstein switched his brain with a mad scientist when the guy's machine backfired. Since then, the zombies had become extremely smart, with the genetics from Old Frankie's brain. However, the genes always skipped a generation, which probably explained why his dad thought that Iron Golems were their best friends and so, got beat up a lot. Zomboni always had to act stupid, so the other idiot-students in his old school wouldn't get jealous and make him an outcast. But here...he would have a chance to show his true self.

Herobrine smirked as he read through the list of students. It was an interesting bunch, and it would be...amusing to see who would be friends and who would become enemies in the upcoming year.

**END OF CHAPTER 1**

**Yup, I hope you guys enjoyed that. It's a bit short, I know. 3 students down, 6-8 to go! It might be a while till I update next, though. I might get another chapter up today or tomorrow, then 3-4 months of cramming for exams. Until then, adios!**

***fizz***

**Butter broke the computer.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Minecraft Monster School**

**Next chapter! 1st day of school! Rest of the students! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Minecraft. WHY NOTCH WHY!**

**Chapter 2**

Ender flopped down on the bed. He and Zing had been touring the school, when they had taken a wrong turn and gotten lost in a labyrinth. Then, Zing had fallen into a deep hole, bounced back up, fallen back in, bounced back up...until Ender finally caught his dizzy friend and teleported back to their room. _Tomorrow's the first day of school_, he reminded himself, and continued sleeping.

Gistelle yawned as the morning sun shone through the window. The ghast quickly floated through the door, making her way to the homeroom. The only person there was a zombie reading a Science Physics Book (that was odd) and a man with white eyes, who she assumed was the teacher as he looked...well the most 'normal'.

As if he had been reading her thoughts, the man looked at Gistelle and said, "Gistelle the ghast right? I am Mr. Herobrine, your teacher. That's Zomboni. Free seating is allowed." Gistelle took a seat at the back of the class and began reading The History Of Minecraftia. Soon, the other students entered the classroom. Creeper, Skeleton, Spider, Enderman, Slime, Zombie Pigman, Silverfish, Blaze, Wither...almost all the mobs of Minecraftia were there!

Mr. Herobrine stood and yelled, "Alright, shut up before I kill all of you!" A deathly silence settled on the room as one by one, the students stopped exercising their vocal chords.

Once the Wither's left head had told the other two to duct tape their mouths, Mr. Herobrine continued, "Good. As some of you might know, I am Mr. Herobrine. I am here to make your life hell by giving you an education. My brother Notch and I are the principals of the school. He's the good cop, I'm the bad cop. Now, I want each of you to stand up and say something about yourself. This cheesy idea was Notch's. Zing the Slime, you begin."

Zing jumped onto his table and started a endless monologue while hopping up and down, all of which Ender had heard and seen before. Finally, Zing bounced so high that he slammed into the roof, and mumbled, "I think I'll stay here for the rest of the lesson..." The rest facepalmed and one by one, were called up to introduce themselves. Xplov was the Creeper, and natually had a habit of saying 'Sssss' whenever he said a word that started with the letter 'S'. Skellie was an ace with the bow and nearly shot a fire arrow in his excitement. Spinnet the spider was busily weaving as she talked, making a nice pair of socks at the end of her introduction. Ender we've already met. Nugget the Zombie Pigman had a brain the size of a fingernail. And the fact that it was completely empty. Silver the Silverfish was pretty interested in the library's food-I mean books. Pyro who was a Blaze just annoyed the shit out of everyone. And finally...Tridex the Wither. The left head was Venstre('left' in Danish), the middle was Midten('middle' in Danish), and the right was Hojre('right' in Danish).

After the introductions, it was time for the first class of the day. Swimming. The moment Pyro and Ender heard that, they immediately started protesting.

Mr. Herobrine glared at them, before continuing, "Pyro and Ender, you are excused. I have a job for you two. The rest of the class, be at the pool in ten minutes!" He swept out of the room, Pyro and Ender trailing behind, as the others tried to figure out if the school even had a pool.

More than 30 minutes later, the class finally gathered at the swimming pool, which was, thankfully, not filled with lava. Just plain old water. Ender and Pyro were sitting at the sides of the pool, wearing two raincoats, a giant floppy hat, and carrying an umbrella each. Next to them was a huge sack of something.

Mr. Herobrine then arrived and everyone lined up at the diving boards. "Alright, the goal is to get to the other end of the pool! I don't care how you swim, just get there!"He yelled, and fired the starting pistol. The students dived gracefully*coughcoughcannonballedcough* into the pool and started doggy paddling all the way, with the exception of Spinnet, who was propelling herself through the water going at a very high speed. Suddenly, Silver felt something land on his head. "What the-"He spluttered, staring at the innocent yellow rubber duck floating in the water before another bonked him again. Silver glanced to the side of the pool, where Ender and Pyro were pulling rubber ducks out of the sack and throwing them at everyone. _Oh my god_, Silver thought, then started swimming as fast as he could, which was rather difficult considering that the rubber ducks were twice the size of the Silverfish.

The moment Spinnet saw the first duck, she dived deep down and freestyled with all eight legs,her genes from the water spiders kicking in. "Yes!" She gasped for air as her head broke the water and she reached the other side. Skellie was right behind her as he shot the ducks away from him while doing the backstroke. And surpisingly in third place was Silver, who was floating unnoticed on a rubber duck and kicked franctically through water. The others...well were still trying to doggy paddle under the relentless assault of ducks.

Finally, it was over, with everyone else being teleported out of the water by Mr. Herobrine.

Then, the teacher announced, "Spinnet, Skellie, Silver, Ender, and Pyro, return to class. The rest of you..."His eyes glinted menacingly before continuing,"Trash Pick Up Duty." More than 100 swear-words were heard as the first class of the day ended.

**I hope you guys enjoyed that! A bit longer than the first chapter I hope! This maybe the last update for a while, so I'll see you all in 4 months! PLEASE REVIEW!**

***fizz***

**Butter broke the computer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Minecraft Monster School**

**Wow, I can't believe I'm writing anther chapter for a story that I said would not be updated for another 4 months. Butter must have poisoned me or something...WHATEVER! Oh, I've been reading the (lack of) reviews, and I have to reply to some:**

**YoshiEmblem: Awesome idea! I might add it in if it's okay with you!**

**iliketoreviewthegoodstries: I thought they could swim, but were slower! Let's just say Zing is a special slime :)**

**On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda I don't own Minecraft. Derp.**

**Chapter 3**

After Trash Pick-Up Duty (which I will not go into detail about apart from the fact that it involved a lot of vomiting), class resumed. It was pretty uneventful as the students just had to plant trees. Such a fun class. Soon, it was lunch. The students walked into the cafeteria, which surprisingly, looked normal. Stalls selling foodstuff, long tables, blah blah. Anyway, they bought their food from the stalls, which were run by blocky people with the biggest noses (SQUIDWARDS DUH) they had ever seen, and sat down to eat.

Tridex balanced 3 bowls of Mushroom Stew, and found a place to sit. At once, the three heads started squabbling over who would get to eat first. In the end, it resulted in them sticking their head into the bowls and slurping it up, a messy yet successful method.

Xplov put down his tray next to Skellie, who was cleaning his bow. Across from them was Spinnet, eating some raw pork chops.

"Why aren't you eating?" Xplov asked Skellie curiously.

Then he realized it. "Oh. Sssssorry..."

"It's okay, what are you eating?" Skellie grinned cheerfully.

"Watermelonssss. Helpss me control the explosionss..." Xplov resumed devouring the fruit and Skellie struck up a conversation with Spinnet about the quality of string.

When lunch was over, the mobs returned to class. "Today, we are finally going to learn something fun!" Mr. Herobrine exclaimed.

The class leaned forward, wondering what could have gotten Mr. Herobrine this excited. "Potion Brewing! The Witch will be teaching this." He finished dramatically, then strolled out of the room, passing the Witch outside.

The Witch swept into the room and began in a gravelly tone, "Potion Brewing...You have 1 hour to experiment. Do not taste anything that you make, unless you have suicidal thoughts. Use the book to guide you. Begin." The Witch waved her hand and Brewing Stands, Cauldrons, a chest of potion brewing supplies and a book titled A Beginner's Guide To Potion Brewing appeared in front of everyone.

Nugget simply poured everything into the Brewing Stand, including the Guide and a pencil. The potion turned a brownish colour, looking like his...toilet explosion. Ugh. Blech. Puking... DO NOT DISTURB...

Pyro was making Fire Resistance potions, planning to hand them out to his friends as a safety precaution, assuming that he didn't add poison to be a troll.

Silver had planned to make potions of Healing, to trick Nugget, but had accidentally made a splash potion of Harming (potion effects on mobs are the opposite of what the potion is supposed to do). "Hic...hic...hic..." He tested it and found out that hiccups were a side effect. "MRRP!" And farting.

Venstre was quietly making Silence Potions (I made it up) while Midten and Hojre squabbled, so he decided to use it on them later.

Finally, the students completed their potions (or poisons, there wasn't much of a difference) and Mr. Herobrine would be the taster, seeing that he was immune and so would not die.

1. Nugget's Unknown Substance

Mr. Herobrine gagged silently as he drank Nugget's foul potion. "It's...edible...ACK! GET ME SOME WATER NOW!" After the taste had been washed away, Mr. Herobrine spat out a chunk of Nugget's pencil.

"Oh my god." He muttered, waving his hand to clear the table.

2. Zomboni's Potion Of Reverse (credit to Butter for this)

Immediately, Mr Herobrine slammed the empty bottle into his face when he had finished drinking it.

"What the hell! Stupid Potion Of Reverse! Why didn't you tell me!" He spat, mentally commending his student's skill.

3. Midten and Hojre's Potion Of Poo (I was desperate!)

"Since I absolutely refuse to be turned into a mound of faeces, I suggest we test this on one of the students." The students voted as fairly as they could, with some prods and glances in the direction of a certain student...Anyway, Mr. Herobrine counted the votes, and WHADDYA know? Nugget was chosen! How shocking! Nobody expected that! Yeah right. So the potion was offered, the potion was drunk, and there was suddenly a walking, talking, eating, and pooping pile of poo. Brilliant.

4. Venstre's Potion of Silence.

"For this...my brothers will be the testers..." Venstre announced.

"What? No!" Midten and Hojre protested. Mr. Herobrine pointed at them threateningly, and they shoved the potions down their throats. When they opened their mouths again, not a sound came out. But from the way the mouths were moving, you could probably tell that they cursing. A lot.

*after Potion Brewing class*

_Thank god that's over, _Herobrine thought as he dismissed the students. Then, a white light flashed in the middle of the room. _Oh great,_ he smirked, rolling his eyes. "Hello, brother." Notch greeted him cordially.

"Well, what is it?" Herobrine asked casually.

"I am here to tell you that...I'm transferring to another school as their principal."

Herobrine's jaw fell open and he gasped in shock. "You mean..."

"Yes, brother. You are now the principal of Minecraft Monster School." Notch smiled, knowing that his brother, no matter how evil he acted, would do a great job.

**BOOM! And that's it until I update again, guys.**

***fizz***

**Butter broke the computer.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Minecraft Monster School**

**Chapter 4**

The students were waiting for Mr. Herobrine to enter. A scratchy sound was heard from the speakers installed in the room, and static was heard, causing some of the students to cover their (non existent) ears.

"Witch? Does this thing still work?" They heard Mr. Herobrine's voice emanating from the speakers. A muffled 'yes' was heard, presumably from the Witch, so Herobrine continued.

"Anyway, students, I have some good-I mean, BAD news for you all. Notch, our principal, is transferring to another school, so I will be this school's principal for now on. YA HOO! Um, that was just a sneeze. So I will see you all in class!" The sound of the microphone being tossed across the room came through the intercom, and the next moment, Herobrine appeared, grinning from ear to ear.

"Anyway, today we are going to learn-um, as one last favor to Notch, either Cooking or Crafting. I guess we'll do Cooking and learn Crafting in the next class." Herobrine's shoulders drooped. He waved his hand, and the classroom was transformed into one that resembled the Home Economics classrooms in school. Immediately, Nugget stuck his head into the furnace. _He's lucky that he's a Pigman...I wonder how they're immune to lava and flames and hot stuff, _Zomboni thought as he observed Nugget. The other students snickered as Herobrine, frustrated, pushed Nugget's entire body into the furnace and slammed the door shut. **(A/N Tsk tsk, Herobrine. The safety inspectors are not happy.)**

"I expect an edible meal by the end of this lesson, or else I will go insane," he declared, stomping to his desk. _Maybe I already am insane...insane enough to teach,_ he scowled. The students immediately set to work, and smells and aromas were clashing fiercely. Herobrine sighed, and placed a clothes peg over his nose.

Xplov was busily tossing fish onto the furnace, which doubled as an stove as well as an oven. A cooked fish is a good fish, his mother always used to say. Until she went _ kaboom. Oops. I said the taboo word._ He felt the gunpowder starting to ignite inside him. _Calm down, calm down..._ BOOM!

Gistelle was searching for eggs in the drawer when she heard a sudden explosion. Jerking up, she saw that Xplov had disappeared, leaving a single piece of gunpowder.

"COME ON! Only five minutes into the lesson and this occurs!" Herobrine yelled, glaring at the gunpowder murderously. Stomping over to pick up the gunpowder, he muttered an incantation while waving his hand over the gunpowder. It morphed into a light green egg with black spots on it **(A/N Is that how the Creeper Egg looks like?)**, and tossed it onto the ground. A bright flash enveloped the room, and Xplov appeared, looking dizzy but no worse for wear.

"Um, thanks, Mr. Herobrine," He muttered, nodding his head. That was embarrassing. He really should have gone for yoga lessons before he came.

"Alright, continue cooking, Skelly, your chicken is burning," Herobrine informed them. Skelly cursed, turning around to pull the chicken out, abandoning it to the incinerator. _Time to start again,_ he sighed. Ender was making cupcakes and decorating them with exquisite designs. Pyro was making tacos, unfortunately frying most of them to a crisp. Spinnet had decided to go with something nice, sweet, and simple-candyfloss. It was as if she was weaving again.

"Stop! Now show me what _amazing_ delicacies you have created," Herobrine rolled his eyes as one by one, the students presented him their food. Pyro had a lone taco that was the only one of his kind that survived the Great Fire of the Pan. It was pronounced edible. Next, was Gistelle's cake and Ender's cupcakes. In exchange for the recipe, Ender had offered to decorate Gistelle's cake for her, so they kind of became a team. Herobrine didn't say anything, but the blissful smile on his face was enough to let them know that they had succeeded. Much to the amusement of others, Zing had some how managed to turn his Baked Alaska into Freezing Africa, so he offered up nuggets (not the Pigman, but the stuff McDonalds sell) instead. It would had been perfect if he had remembered to take it out of the McDonalds carton. Really, that emergency trip to McDonalds was such a waste.**  
**

Finally, after Tridex had served up their-um, boiled (and roasted) peas, Herobrine could take it no longer. Clutching his stomach, he rushed out of the room, making a beeline for the nearest toilet. The students chuckled and began to clear up the mess, except for Zomboni, who had picked up a paper that had fell out of Herobrine's pocket. Scanning it intently, his face registered a mixture of shock and surprise.

"Everyone, look at this!" he waved the paper in the air. The mobs gathered around Zomboni curiously. He began reading it out loud.

"_Dear Brother,_

_I hope you're doing well. I am heading this school, aptly named Minecraftia Academy. I was wondering if you could spare the time to pay a visit to me for two to three days. Do bring your students along, they could meet the students there. It would be an interesting experience of all of them._

_Regards, _

_Notch"_

"A field trip!"

"No school for three whole days!"

"Yes!" Suddenly, a sudden pounding was heard. Everyone froze. Had Herobrine caught them in the act. However, they realised it was not coming from the door. Swivelling around, they saw Nugget banging on the oven door.

"Me...want...out!" He yelled.

**Hey everyone! CREDIT GOES TO_ YOSHIEMBLEM_ FOR THE MINECRAFTIA ACADEMY IDEA! Sorry I can't respond to your AWESOME reiews, just wanted to get this up before my exams, so I hope it's not too bad, I was in a rush. Bye! **

***fizz***

**Butter broke the computer.**


End file.
